Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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