I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This house was built for laser tag.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
