Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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