Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.