He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
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do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha