The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.