i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?