The maid of honor just puked.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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