I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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