Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize