it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
