That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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