she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
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how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
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View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize