Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize