After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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