Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize