some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
