yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Still dying that you shit outside
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
