I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
