Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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