he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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