remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i think i have herpe
just one?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
