Me too!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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