also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize