I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize