I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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