No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize