K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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