I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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