Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize