porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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