You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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