eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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