dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Randomize