Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
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I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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