I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
organizing the empties. That sober.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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