What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We have started to decorate penises.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
