Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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