While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
