Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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