I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
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I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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