Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
