I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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