sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
