Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize