Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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