She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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