booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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