Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
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My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
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If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.