wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
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So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.