yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...