just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.