Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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