I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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