He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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