its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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